the monday which was not a monday

My previous post now seems too harsh. I've begun to see more differences, the article below has been thought-provoking:
http://www.crosscurrents.org/miles.htm
Maybe some part also was the consistent feeling that like sand as one walks in the ocean, things kept eroding under my feet. The system is one way, I learned to understand, but when I return, it's completely different, and the entire structure of a degree has changed, so that it's a whole different experience for the new people, and I'm left feeling that what I did for it was no longer relevant, and that I needed to master other things retrospectively, but most of it I'd already mastered some in my free time, but the grist of it has changed too, and that's not something I had, either. Or maybe the feeling of always falling between the cracks of changes which were beyond my control, so something I felt I'd been led to believe was solid, continued to shift about and change hands, and I was told entirely different things about the very basics at different points, often, after I'd proceeded along a path which was in keeping with the earlier thing I'd been told. Transitions can often ultimately be good for people and organizations, but I think they also need to be discussed as such and not simply implemented without warning. Anyhow...

In other news, over the course of the weekend as my mom visited, we visited together 5 different wineries all over the place here, and now I have a more fine-tuned appreciation of wine components, though I have not picked a favorite. It was easy to imagine being in the Cinqueterra or Tuscany-- my memory of Grinzingen is far too clouded to evoke anything aside from a view over Vienna. This "wine tour" thing would be fun to do again at some point, I think; before, I had been a bit scared to venture too far afield, but now I think it looks more manageable. We also visited restaurants, which in my grad school days I would have not looked at as I walked down the street, given the unattainability of the prices. Now, however, I find I'm able to enjoy the food more, thinking that I might in fact now be able to engineer dinner for two there. The other worthwhile visit of the day was to the Japanese garden. My mom thinks I still have residual stress from academia and bought me a yearly pass to the Japanese garden, so that I can go and chill out among the zen artifacts and plants and tourists when I feel distraught.

Next week, back to the Oko-Haie, coffee, and reading resumes, with forseeably some new twists.

distance, new focus

with distance, I have learned to have compassion for a group I was formerly involved with-- or, perhaps, better not to call it compassion, but rather pity.

Such a desparate world, that calls for people to mutilate one another, to lie on a daily basis, to put on such extraordinary facades, to lie retrospectively, to complain about one another to their students on a daily basis, to show that their friendships are more important than the safety of their charges. I simply feel pity for the people in this world at this point. I guess I've gotten my taste of the whole academic shebang and have decided it's not worth the self-deception it would involve to think of it as something worthwhile, after 99% of my experiences.

In the meantime, more pictures:

Grizzly Man

Yesterday, viewed Herzog's Grizzly Man.

It was somewhat depressing-- again Herzog featured many of his own ideas about nature in examining the deaths, I think I'd call this film of his one of his most acerbic. I think it's very likely that he saw himself in Tim Treadwell, including in terms of Treadwell's views of humanity and more-- Herzog seems to view himself as a sort of mentor to a dead person, who may or may not have wanted it-- another in the string of Herzog's conflicted relationships with other filmmakers. As seen in Walking to Werner, it seems that Herzog has little interest in mentoring other filmmakers, unless he can use them for his own stardom. I think he was quite invasive in Grizzly Man, also as he styled himself as a sort of god figure who warned Treadwell's former girlfriend to destroy the sound recording of the death in her own best interests. Maybe he could have done more with the Thoreau/Walden ideas. I don't think it's my favorite film of Herzog's; Encounters has still been my favorite of late.

Also saw Aida last week, but may or may not blog about it. It was excellent, in a word.

In other news, have been missing the libraries etc. in seattle these days.

The Counterfeiters

Yesterday saw the film The Counterfeiters, I guess in terms of concentration camp films there are others I'd prefer, such as Jakob der Luegner, and there are also other Austrian films I find better, but I'll still write some about this one. It dealt with the question of betraying one's friends vs. survival; the group stuck together, but the leader still took action to create the money demanded in a small quantity so that they weren't all killed. Also issues of criminality, privelege, etc. The end when the other camp inmates arrived and broke down the barriers between sections of the camp was also a well-done scene. I thought the very end was pretty lame, however.

meeting interesting plants

Today a long, five-mile sort of walk in the arboreteum. Mental note to go further from the city next time, others had the same idea today. But the arboreteum had an overlook and variety, and too many other things to do today to go much further. The highlight was the sunshine and the deep dark forest. Contemplation of the action of coming and going at once, which maybe works out into hereness.

tying, untying

One thing I've missed about Europe in May is the Tanz in den Mai, where in some places everyone dances in masks... or, other may day scenarios with poles to tie and untie, flower petals, strawberries, young Puritan girls singing "Son vergin vezzosa." Yesterday, after a so-la-la event at which I met some interesting people, I dreamt of masked balls.

Encounters at the End of the World

Yesterday after work went to see Encounters at the End of the World, by Werner Herzog. They're having an enormous Herzog thing-- had had no idea that the Northwest Film Forum extends to here, but it does. I've seen pretty much all the rest of the ones being shown, except for a couple, and that was one of them.

This film takes place in Antarctica.
I loved it. Many gems... from the penguin conversations to the echoes of Bells from the Deep (another favorite of mine) as the scientists prostrate themselves on the ice to listen to the seals below, to the spiritual experiences of diving beneath the ice and collecting creatures, to the linguistics ex-PhD who had to end his research because the last speaker of the dying language he was studying died. Herzog focuses a little on global warming, but then turns it into a focus on the death of humans, dying languages and dying cultures. Also echoes of White Diamond. He does in fact show some cultural awareness when he discusses these things, such as the aztec indian guy, but pretty much everyone is a curiosity object to him as Herzog tries to show how McMurdo is filled with oddballs, and constantly striving oddballs with extreme worldviews. He also gets bored with his subjects and their tales, often interrupting them while filming them to do a voice over "to make a long story short... this, this and this happened." Cut. Next. I pretty much laughed my ass off through the entire thing. The humor is not coming off very well here as I tell about it. I did in fact inspire me briefly to want to go to Antarctica, but I think there are many good reasons to stay in this hemisphere now.

The theater was packed and then when I stood up at the end (I had come about 5 minutes late and sat down in the dark), it was very strange because I found I was surrounded by people speaking German. At first I thought I was hallucinating, but then I asked them in German who they were, it's some group affiliated with the German-American preeschool here. That encounter reminded me of wine and wisdom events, especially when I then went home and had a glass of wine, but it was fun and totally unstressful and I didn't feel any pressure to pimp the field.

Today is one of those times I wish to have a cat curl up on my lap and rest there for awhile. Meow.