collected things

the luminescent ones, barnacled and eroded outer shells, pearled interiors all of them

each below is about the size of a dollar coin.
they could look sort of platonic together there, I suppose.

Not to make any assumptions about anyone, but I can't resist adding this link today.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/02/24/75-threatening-to-move-to-canada/

sea air

Here are some of the things I saw today, a deep lush forest surrounds the area, found some intact sand dollars, smoothed rocks, shells. Cold still in the area, which explains the absence of beach-goers.... a short drive, comparative to others. My company was both comforting and completely unsympathetic... direct quote: "the idea of "transitions" is bullshit. Nobody else in the world needs time to adapt to things, you shouldn't either (unspoken: as my progeny, I don't want you to waste time on "transitions" and I will try to force you not to... in other words, here's how you should feel)." Me: "Well, you're the one who asked, if you don't like the answer, that's your &#&%(# problem." Followed by silence, the 1.5 hour-long sort. The landscape was stunning.

Mlle. Cha-U-Kao and her milieu

Today saw the below picture at an exhibit called "The Dancer" which featured Degas, Toulouse-Lautrec, and Forain. Featuring three artists at a time rather than two was a little much, I think. The exhibit did well to discuss the historical context and fin-de-siecle Paris, however, even with an extensive historical timeline and some Lumiere films playing in some sections, for example the "Fire Dance" film. There were also portaits of opera scenes, even one scene from Aida. Otherwise, ballerinas everywhere, and two whole rooms full of pictures of ballerinas being hit on by the rich gentlemen who purchased passes of some sort to go backstage and consort with them, which the artists critiqued with great attention to power dynamics and the pressures for ballerinas to Plié (sp to whatever those men wanted, the price sometimes being their jobs if they refused. Anyhow... the below picture features Mlle. Cha-U-Kao, who also performed sometimes as a clown, but here below, dancing with another woman at the Moulin Rouge. Many portaits also featured the difficult lives of ballerinas behind the scenes, themes of spectatorship (views from the front boxes), and the beauty of the dancing, flower-like dancers with tutus and limbs aligned, in tension, and on the verges of movement. Then went to see a few other permanent exhibits. A busy & fun day with some company. Perhaps even more fun than maybe one or two other things I could think of to be doing, and fed my intellect.

a quantity of flowers from today

One should play the below while viewing the slideshow. The flower endeavours begin.

two images

I don't know what these Chagalls are named, but I wanted to put them here today. I like the top one more right now. My chat area of my mail server has not been working for the last days because I need to clear my browser cache and have been quite busy.

conference policy

I have decided to draft some policy which pertains to academic conferences.

1) Conference-goers who have engaged in legal action against any member or former member of a department should not attend functions at the institution where the person is a department member unless 2 years have passed after the last legal action. 2 years is the standard amount of time given for consent to be meaningful for former clients to be involved in fair personal relationships with former fiduciaries after terminating, thus, such a clause would cover all department members, unless one wanted to distinguish between department members who had different power relationships over one another, ie, professors of equal rank and professors and graduate students. Why "former members"? Because ties still conceivably exist between the former member and colleagues/friends/people who had a vested interest in that member, and any involvement could still be construed as disruption of these relationships, cause of conflict of interest, and disruption of professional progress.

2) The same as #1 goes for attending conferences at an institution if one has initated romantic overtures towards a department or former department member or had any sort of romantic connection, dated from the last correspondence, depending upon rank and also depending upon how much power one person may be described as having over another, in terms of rank. Unless one person is of equal rank with another, the person who is not a current department member should not attend at all.

3) Where a department is involved as a whole, no department members should at any time be required to conduct activities which do not pertain to teaching and learning, for example, serving coffee to others who outrank them. It is not within the scope of their professional duties to do so, even as a "favor" or "entertainment chore."

4) There should be at least two options of panels to attend, should any interpersonal conflicts exist in which any department member is for any reason barred attendance.

5) Meetings of committees should not overlap with conference panels. Thus, all committee members are free to give all panels equal attention as merited.

6) If personal problems or circumstances seem to demand that an individual breach the confidentiality of any individual at the conference who is outranked by him or her, to still others who outrank the latter individual, the former individual should not attend the conference. Even if breaches of confidentiality may seem to serve the "best interests" of the outranked individual, other means should be pursued to resolve whatever needs to be addressed.

7) Questions of rank don't pertain to co-enjoyment the opera or "being at the opera in spirit."

Diving Bell & Butterfly

Today I saw The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Someone had told me it was an uplifting film, but I thought it was very sad. I did feel lucky to be able to move and talk and so on on my own after all of the claustrophobic scenes. Such extremes of isolation.

Have not been able to concentrate very well; I think that after certain parts of the year are very stressful for a number of years consecutively, just the seasonal change itself can bring on emotions which are not really related to daily/weekly expereince, but instead, products of and reactions to things which may have happened long ago, but to which one cannot react at the time without risking big things. This can also be triggered off by events near and far (or a combination of both). So it's been important to try to reenvision springtime and to try to stretch myself and to ignore the things which no longer apply to me, but which "would have."

Temptations of Holy Antonius

Today after a busy day at some of my workplaces, I went here. (Picture above)

Picture after picture of an older woman tempting St. Antonius by offering him a younger one, combined with demons which are combinations of various animals and other things. What I think is that the guy must have been gay, or really had some complexes. He was torn up and simply aufgefressen by the desire he must reject while adhering to his book. Most often, he was in a grotto.

It's pretty funny, the women painted as temptresses are coming from everywhere; one is even lying naked under a rug at his feet. They showed how the depiction of his struggle evolved in works by different painters over time, from pre-Bosch to Max Ernst and Otto Dix, for example. Then I toured the Rathaus and had some Alsterwasser sitting in some collonades on the Alster and visited a perfume store before returning to my relatives, at which point I reeked of all kinds of different colognes and perfumes because I couldn't decide on a definitive scent for awhile, or even whether I wanted it to be more masculine or more feminine.

Also saw some good exhibits in Berlin, went to a party, ran all around the city and even saw a performance of the Sorrows of Young Werther done for this century. Time there both exhausted and energized me, and reminded again that I wouldn't want to live there permanently, but rather visit for awhile. It's too big! There are too many people! I just love being able to do the language things and people not asking me at all anymore if they should speak English; perhaps faster on the draw of whipping out some German rather than just standing there looking shy and foreign. Still getting used to the new profession and its people, feel there's room to grow.