I've gotten bored with my blog.
I feel it's time for a change of thema.
Perhaps that will also involve a change of color.
Maybe some entries will disappear.
Maybe I'll make a new one and link to it here, or perhaps not.
In any event, some of my moods have changed from when I first created it. So I'm doing another blog reconaissance to find out more of what I like and dislike in blogs, and rethinking theme. I am hoping to be able to use the renovaton as an opportunity to coalesce a few main themes and to prune it of some others, so that it feels more alive to me.
Sonntag, 24. August 2008
Sonntag, 13. Juli 2008
on professional incest
This document spells out the unwritten contract between at least one former professor of mine at Bryn Mawr and students, and professors at my former graduate school and their graduate and undergraduate students. I think they need to include it with admissions material and all the other things one signs at the beginning of enrollment in the endeavour of pursuing a degree. This is because, in my experience, sexual openness to professors who want to use one is often a prerequisite for an advanced degree. Whether at Bryn Mawr, or large Universities such as UW, if you aren't sexually open to the professors who invite you to their cars at night, or the male ones who want only to stare at your breasts when you meet about projects, then you aren't allowed to get through the system.
STATEMENT OF INFORMED CONSENT FOR A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A TEACHING PROFESSIONAL AND A STUDENT
I, __________________, hereby consent to a sexual relationship with _____________________ (Professor), a licensed _________________, whose student I am or have been for the purpose of _________________.
In granting this consent, I understand that, although some such relationships are successful, all relationships between professors and students carry great risk. Such involvement may be accompanied by personal degradation by the professor, criticism of my relationship with-my current partner, and encouragement to isolate myself from other personal involvements. I understand also that the professor may not be in a monogamous relationship with me and that he/she is likely to suddenly terminate the relationship.
I understand that my entering this relationship may involve the forsaking of moral and intellectual values to which I have previously adhered with strong conviction. I understand that my feelings toward this professor may be based on a symbolic attraction, also known as transference, in that these feelings may be less related to my knowledge and understanding of him/her as a person than to his/her representation to me as a powerful, trustworthy, dependable, knowlegable figure who can provide for my intellectual and/or emotional needs. I understand also that the professor's feelings toward me may be based on a similar symbolic attraction, also known as countertransference. I understand that my dependence on this professor may compromise my ability to fully understand the basis of my feelings toward him/her or my ability to terminate the relationship even after I am no longer comfortable with it.
I understand that by engaging in this sexual relationship with me, this professor may be violating his/her code of professional and university ethics as well as certain laws of the state.
I understand that a sexual relationship with this professor may ultimately have extremely damaging consequences for me including, but not necessarily limited to, disruption and abandonment of degree plans, extreme discomfort and experience of a hostile environment in my degree program, feelings of betrayal, helplessness, anger, confusion, guilt, and depression, that these feelings could result in a need for psychiatric care, and that these feelings could possibly result in my suicide.
I understand that the anger and distrust that I may develop toward this professor may generalize to other academics or even to all people of the same gender or field as this professor.
In expressing these feelings to others, I may find that I derive little understanding or sympathy from present or future partners, members of my family, my friends, co-workers, other professors, or even helping professionals. I understand further that disclosure of my sexual involvement with this may result in my estrangement from some or all of these people, further increasing my feelings of loneliness, confusion, and guilt.
I understand that all of the aforementioned risks have been documented in previous sexual relationships between professors and their students.
I assert that these risks have been fully explained to me by a knowledgeable health or other professional other than the professor, that I am willing to accept these risks, and I freely and willfully give my informed consent to said sexual relationship.
Signed this _____ day of _____________, ____.
__________________________
(adapted from M. Plaut)
That's what the real price is for a degree.
STATEMENT OF INFORMED CONSENT FOR A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A TEACHING PROFESSIONAL AND A STUDENT
I, __________________, hereby consent to a sexual relationship with _____________________ (Professor), a licensed _________________, whose student I am or have been for the purpose of _________________.
In granting this consent, I understand that, although some such relationships are successful, all relationships between professors and students carry great risk. Such involvement may be accompanied by personal degradation by the professor, criticism of my relationship with-my current partner, and encouragement to isolate myself from other personal involvements. I understand also that the professor may not be in a monogamous relationship with me and that he/she is likely to suddenly terminate the relationship.
I understand that my entering this relationship may involve the forsaking of moral and intellectual values to which I have previously adhered with strong conviction. I understand that my feelings toward this professor may be based on a symbolic attraction, also known as transference, in that these feelings may be less related to my knowledge and understanding of him/her as a person than to his/her representation to me as a powerful, trustworthy, dependable, knowlegable figure who can provide for my intellectual and/or emotional needs. I understand also that the professor's feelings toward me may be based on a similar symbolic attraction, also known as countertransference. I understand that my dependence on this professor may compromise my ability to fully understand the basis of my feelings toward him/her or my ability to terminate the relationship even after I am no longer comfortable with it.
I understand that by engaging in this sexual relationship with me, this professor may be violating his/her code of professional and university ethics as well as certain laws of the state.
I understand that a sexual relationship with this professor may ultimately have extremely damaging consequences for me including, but not necessarily limited to, disruption and abandonment of degree plans, extreme discomfort and experience of a hostile environment in my degree program, feelings of betrayal, helplessness, anger, confusion, guilt, and depression, that these feelings could result in a need for psychiatric care, and that these feelings could possibly result in my suicide.
I understand that the anger and distrust that I may develop toward this professor may generalize to other academics or even to all people of the same gender or field as this professor.
In expressing these feelings to others, I may find that I derive little understanding or sympathy from present or future partners, members of my family, my friends, co-workers, other professors, or even helping professionals. I understand further that disclosure of my sexual involvement with this may result in my estrangement from some or all of these people, further increasing my feelings of loneliness, confusion, and guilt.
I understand that all of the aforementioned risks have been documented in previous sexual relationships between professors and their students.
I assert that these risks have been fully explained to me by a knowledgeable health or other professional other than the professor, that I am willing to accept these risks, and I freely and willfully give my informed consent to said sexual relationship.
Signed this _____ day of _____________, ____.
__________________________
(adapted from M. Plaut)
That's what the real price is for a degree.
Sonntag, 29. Juni 2008
royal (pain) geography
Today I took a hike up King's Mountain:
http://www.cooltrails.com/kingsmtn.htm
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/519465/oregon_hiking_kings_mountain.html
It was steep... though very short. I realized how out of shape I am and how my feet have changed since I last wore my hiking boots, and am already a little sore, but it was in fact spectacular. On a day when an earlier start is desired (today was not one of those days, being hot and my having things to do) and the peak bagged early in the day, it is possible to then visit the ocean for the rest of the afternoon. It's only about 45 minutes away from PDX.
Most of the trail is hip-high ferns beneath a canopy of moss-covered trees, which is enchanting to trek within. Then as it usually does, the scenery changed into typical alpine-region terrain as one ascends. There were also a number of flowers in season, including indian paintbrush, harebells (which had a lovely blue tinge), strawberry flowers (but no berries to be found). I did take two pictures of the moss and ferns, but too exhausted to think about uploading them now. I saw 6 other hikers during this jaunt, and no animals. I had to begin to wonder what sorts of animals there are here, for example, if there are snakes. It was a carbon-rich experience given the ferns and moss and trees.
I wonder if there is a Queen's mountain as well.
I had sort of missed being in Seattle during pride day, or at least the opportunity to boycott it, but had a (Drag of a) King of my own with some pretty interesting contours and natural features to sweat over, and so am happy. And in an earlier part of the day, interesting thoughts to be had about statuary.
http://www.cooltrails.com/kingsmtn.htm
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/519465/oregon_hiking_kings_mountain.html
It was steep... though very short. I realized how out of shape I am and how my feet have changed since I last wore my hiking boots, and am already a little sore, but it was in fact spectacular. On a day when an earlier start is desired (today was not one of those days, being hot and my having things to do) and the peak bagged early in the day, it is possible to then visit the ocean for the rest of the afternoon. It's only about 45 minutes away from PDX.
Most of the trail is hip-high ferns beneath a canopy of moss-covered trees, which is enchanting to trek within. Then as it usually does, the scenery changed into typical alpine-region terrain as one ascends. There were also a number of flowers in season, including indian paintbrush, harebells (which had a lovely blue tinge), strawberry flowers (but no berries to be found). I did take two pictures of the moss and ferns, but too exhausted to think about uploading them now. I saw 6 other hikers during this jaunt, and no animals. I had to begin to wonder what sorts of animals there are here, for example, if there are snakes. It was a carbon-rich experience given the ferns and moss and trees.
I wonder if there is a Queen's mountain as well.
I had sort of missed being in Seattle during pride day, or at least the opportunity to boycott it, but had a (Drag of a) King of my own with some pretty interesting contours and natural features to sweat over, and so am happy. And in an earlier part of the day, interesting thoughts to be had about statuary.
Sonntag, 1. Juni 2008
Houston, TX
Houston is hot. I had not realized there was so much culture here. It's my first time in Texas at all, and it's ok so far, there don't seem to be any mountains in sight, however. Here for a conference, but I'm not presenting this time... or rather, a trade show, my job is to be mobbed by job applicants and to REpresent. If time, may try to see the Holocaust Museum or the big park or other things... shaping up into a fun experience so far, have learned a ton on the job so far, and I'm sure will learn more in the next days. In retrospect, had I gone further into the groves of academia, I think I would have supported the cause of providing work cell phones and laptops to the professoriate. That I feel so technologically provided for at my job has been yet another perk; I never knew life could be like this.
Montag, 26. Mai 2008
the monday which was not a monday
My previous post now seems too harsh. I've begun to see more differences, the article below has been thought-provoking:
http://www.crosscurrents.org/miles.htm
Maybe some part also was the consistent feeling that like sand as one walks in the ocean, things kept eroding under my feet. The system is one way, I learned to understand, but when I return, it's completely different, and the entire structure of a degree has changed, so that it's a whole different experience for the new people, and I'm left feeling that what I did for it was no longer relevant, and that I needed to master other things retrospectively, but most of it I'd already mastered some in my free time, but the grist of it has changed too, and that's not something I had, either. Or maybe the feeling of always falling between the cracks of changes which were beyond my control, so something I felt I'd been led to believe was solid, continued to shift about and change hands, and I was told entirely different things about the very basics at different points, often, after I'd proceeded along a path which was in keeping with the earlier thing I'd been told. Transitions can often ultimately be good for people and organizations, but I think they also need to be discussed as such and not simply implemented without warning. Anyhow...
In other news, over the course of the weekend as my mom visited, we visited together 5 different wineries all over the place here, and now I have a more fine-tuned appreciation of wine components, though I have not picked a favorite. It was easy to imagine being in the Cinqueterra or Tuscany-- my memory of Grinzingen is far too clouded to evoke anything aside from a view over Vienna. This "wine tour" thing would be fun to do again at some point, I think; before, I had been a bit scared to venture too far afield, but now I think it looks more manageable. We also visited restaurants, which in my grad school days I would have not looked at as I walked down the street, given the unattainability of the prices. Now, however, I find I'm able to enjoy the food more, thinking that I might in fact now be able to engineer dinner for two there. The other worthwhile visit of the day was to the Japanese garden. My mom thinks I still have residual stress from academia and bought me a yearly pass to the Japanese garden, so that I can go and chill out among the zen artifacts and plants and tourists when I feel distraught.
Next week, back to the Oko-Haie, coffee, and reading resumes, with forseeably some new twists.
http://www.crosscurrents.org/miles.htm
Maybe some part also was the consistent feeling that like sand as one walks in the ocean, things kept eroding under my feet. The system is one way, I learned to understand, but when I return, it's completely different, and the entire structure of a degree has changed, so that it's a whole different experience for the new people, and I'm left feeling that what I did for it was no longer relevant, and that I needed to master other things retrospectively, but most of it I'd already mastered some in my free time, but the grist of it has changed too, and that's not something I had, either. Or maybe the feeling of always falling between the cracks of changes which were beyond my control, so something I felt I'd been led to believe was solid, continued to shift about and change hands, and I was told entirely different things about the very basics at different points, often, after I'd proceeded along a path which was in keeping with the earlier thing I'd been told. Transitions can often ultimately be good for people and organizations, but I think they also need to be discussed as such and not simply implemented without warning. Anyhow...
In other news, over the course of the weekend as my mom visited, we visited together 5 different wineries all over the place here, and now I have a more fine-tuned appreciation of wine components, though I have not picked a favorite. It was easy to imagine being in the Cinqueterra or Tuscany-- my memory of Grinzingen is far too clouded to evoke anything aside from a view over Vienna. This "wine tour" thing would be fun to do again at some point, I think; before, I had been a bit scared to venture too far afield, but now I think it looks more manageable. We also visited restaurants, which in my grad school days I would have not looked at as I walked down the street, given the unattainability of the prices. Now, however, I find I'm able to enjoy the food more, thinking that I might in fact now be able to engineer dinner for two there. The other worthwhile visit of the day was to the Japanese garden. My mom thinks I still have residual stress from academia and bought me a yearly pass to the Japanese garden, so that I can go and chill out among the zen artifacts and plants and tourists when I feel distraught.
Next week, back to the Oko-Haie, coffee, and reading resumes, with forseeably some new twists.
distance, new focus
with distance, I have learned to have compassion for a group I was formerly involved with-- or, perhaps, better not to call it compassion, but rather pity.
Such a desparate world, that calls for people to mutilate one another, to lie on a daily basis, to put on such extraordinary facades, to lie retrospectively, to complain about one another to their students on a daily basis, to show that their friendships are more important than the safety of their charges. I simply feel pity for the people in this world at this point. I guess I've gotten my taste of the whole academic shebang and have decided it's not worth the self-deception it would involve to think of it as something worthwhile, after 99% of my experiences.
In the meantime, more pictures:
Such a desparate world, that calls for people to mutilate one another, to lie on a daily basis, to put on such extraordinary facades, to lie retrospectively, to complain about one another to their students on a daily basis, to show that their friendships are more important than the safety of their charges. I simply feel pity for the people in this world at this point. I guess I've gotten my taste of the whole academic shebang and have decided it's not worth the self-deception it would involve to think of it as something worthwhile, after 99% of my experiences.
In the meantime, more pictures:
Sonntag, 18. Mai 2008
Grizzly Man
Yesterday, viewed Herzog's Grizzly Man.
It was somewhat depressing-- again Herzog featured many of his own ideas about nature in examining the deaths, I think I'd call this film of his one of his most acerbic. I think it's very likely that he saw himself in Tim Treadwell, including in terms of Treadwell's views of humanity and more-- Herzog seems to view himself as a sort of mentor to a dead person, who may or may not have wanted it-- another in the string of Herzog's conflicted relationships with other filmmakers. As seen in Walking to Werner, it seems that Herzog has little interest in mentoring other filmmakers, unless he can use them for his own stardom. I think he was quite invasive in Grizzly Man, also as he styled himself as a sort of god figure who warned Treadwell's former girlfriend to destroy the sound recording of the death in her own best interests. Maybe he could have done more with the Thoreau/Walden ideas. I don't think it's my favorite film of Herzog's; Encounters has still been my favorite of late.
Also saw Aida last week, but may or may not blog about it. It was excellent, in a word.
In other news, have been missing the libraries etc. in seattle these days.
It was somewhat depressing-- again Herzog featured many of his own ideas about nature in examining the deaths, I think I'd call this film of his one of his most acerbic. I think it's very likely that he saw himself in Tim Treadwell, including in terms of Treadwell's views of humanity and more-- Herzog seems to view himself as a sort of mentor to a dead person, who may or may not have wanted it-- another in the string of Herzog's conflicted relationships with other filmmakers. As seen in Walking to Werner, it seems that Herzog has little interest in mentoring other filmmakers, unless he can use them for his own stardom. I think he was quite invasive in Grizzly Man, also as he styled himself as a sort of god figure who warned Treadwell's former girlfriend to destroy the sound recording of the death in her own best interests. Maybe he could have done more with the Thoreau/Walden ideas. I don't think it's my favorite film of Herzog's; Encounters has still been my favorite of late.
Also saw Aida last week, but may or may not blog about it. It was excellent, in a word.
In other news, have been missing the libraries etc. in seattle these days.
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